Thursday, May 7, 2015

Where is He Going With This?

Prayer: Lord, please forgive me for not writing and honoring your wishes and the thoughts and desires that you give me. You know my heart and you know my life. Please give me the strength and boldness that I need to stay active and to stay on fire for you! I have so many things cursing through me that I need to get out. Lead this post where it should go! Amen

I can't believe that I have gone over a month without writing. I even missed an Easter post. I know that this blog isn't read by many, but it is a catharsis for my own soul. For the past month or so I have had a lot on my mind and a lot on my plate. This is no excuse, rather this is a confession. It is during those times when I should sit and reflect and write through my pain more often. Writing for me is a way that I connect with God. For some, it is writing poetry, writing a song, drawing, painting, singing, or sitting in silence. For me it is writing my thoughts or writing in prose. It is interesting, over the past couple months I have had a nagging need to write a song or a poem. I don't know why. I do not write songs. I do not write poems. I have no talent for those things on my own. Through God though? Absolutely. I just need to get out of His way and let Him work through me.

So, I have been thinking about this. Since November I have 97% only listened to Christian radio. I feel like this is what God has convicted me to do. I do not think that I am better, I do not think it is better, and I do not think secular radio is bad. I do however know that the conviction of my heart is to honor God by keeping my ears clean and keeping my mind on his love through this part of my life.

Well, anyways, in listening to the music I have been continually contemplating this weird desire on my heart and my mind. I have never, read NEVER, had a desire to write music or poetry. It just isn't me. So why now? Is this God laying a desire on my heart that I need to follow? It was really really interesting. Then, last night at mid-week service we were discussing 1 Samuel 22:1-2 and the way that David wrote Psalms while in a cave. He had wanted to run away from his problems and God said "Nope" and sent 400 people who were suffering to him. They needed help, they needed David's encouragement. I digress. So, at the end of service the Pastor is saying the closing prayer and God lays on his heart to pray for us to write what God is giving us. WHAT? Then, he asks someone in the room to stand up and read what they brought written down from God laying it on them. WHOA! 2 people ended up standing and reading. Is God telling me to get my booty in gear? I feel like yes.

This is not where today's post was supposed to go. I was going to write about Being Bold for Christ. I was going to write about getting out of the comfort zone. I guess stepping in to the world of creativity and artistry for me is outside my comfort zone. It is funny how many ways God can push you to do what he wants. God speaks in so many ways. Okay, I guess I need to do this. I need to see where this leads.

Is anyone reading this that has the music side of this conviction? I know that I am not musical and God has NOT gifted me with that talent or conviction.

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